Encouraging Mindful Consumption

A warm welcome back to all St Mary’s families for term 3. Whatever the next term of school has in store for us, may everyone find peace, happiness and fulfillment this term.

In our culture it is increasingly easy for kids to be exposed to all kinds of questionable influences, sometimes without the knowledge of parents, whether it’s the influence of peers, something they found on Youtube or when talking to an AI chatbot. I often witness parents picking their battles – a valuable life skill – and choosing to tolerate a certain level of risk or uncertainty in the influences on their child. A parent’s comfort level will of course depend on many factors unique to each family, including cultural background and parenting style. More permissive parents are typically more comfortable with a greater risk threshold, whereas more strict or anxious parents tend to want to have more control over a child’s surroundings. There is no right or wrong here, and it certainly isn’t for me to judge what is right or wrong, because I believe the only experts in a family are those family members who are in it.

But how do parents decide which battles are worth fighting?

One way that we can approach this dilemma is through the concept of “mindful consumption.” Mindful consumption refers to remaining mindful of all the ways that a particular environment, person, or piece of online content can have an influence on our thoughts and/or feelings.

Here are a couple of quotes about mindful consumption that I like:

“The way we communicate is of fundamental importance: we must say ‘no’ to the war of words and images, we must reject the paradigm of war.”

— Pope Leo XIV

Your mind is like a piece of land planted with many different kinds of seeds: seeds of joy, peace, mindfulness, understanding, and love; seeds of craving, anger, fear, hate, and forgetfulness. These wholesome and unwholesome seeds are always there, sleeping in the soil of your mind. The quality of your life depends on the seeds you water. If you plant tomato seeds in your gardens, tomatoes will grow. Just so, if you water a seed of peace in your mind, peace will grow. When the seeds of happiness in you are watered, you will become happy. When the seed of anger in you is watered, you will become angry. The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.

--Thich Nhat Hanh

If children are regularly exposed to words, images, or content full of hatred, fear, or violence, it is precisely these seeds that will sprout in their minds. This includes friendships that are stuck in negative or unhealthy patterns. On the other hand, if we encourage kids to choose friends that model kind, respectful and uplifting behaviour, children are more likely to grow into this kind of character themselves. Mindful consumption, while picking your battles, might also look like encouraging a child to play a non-violent video game, rather than removing their access to video games entirely for example. It might also look like taking the time to explore a child’s regular sources of joy and finding ways to promote their regular access to these “glimmers.”

Warmly,

Damian Gerber
Student and Family Counsellor